Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The Gayest President

There has been a fair amount of silly controversy recently over a book that argues that Abraham Lincoln was a homosexual. More recently, that has been overshadowed by the even sillier controversy over a cartoon bunny who visits a cartoon family with two cartoon lesbian mothers.
But it all does beg a certain question with regard to this curiously homophobic administration: Does anybody really have any trouble figuring out who the most obviously gay president in American history is?
Could it be the one who dresses up in Village People drag and prances around on the deck of an aircraft carrier? Then goes home and puts on his lumberjack drag to pretend to be jes' plain fo'ks choppin' brush. George W. Bush's predilication for costumes and accessories -- military attire is not at all a requirement nor a custom for the commander in chief, folks -- is more than a little reminiscent of the "macho macho man" scene of the disco era. What next? A fishnet T-shirt?
Didn't he also dance with Ricky Martin? And we all know what has been whispered about Ricky Martin over the years (sorry, Ricky. I don't mean to slander you if the rumors are false)
Republicans have a long history of using homophobic language in pathetic attempts to hide homosexual behavior. J. Edgar Hoover and Roy Cohn are only the most prominent examples of their perfidy.
The Bush administration has boasted a whole host of strangely asexual and/or curiously sex-obsessed officials: Condoleeza Rice, John Ashcroft (so freaked out by the sight of the female breast that he can't even stand to see it depicted in marble statuary?????), Gover Norquist.
And while I strongly oppose the outing of gay men and women in general, I make a strong exception for those who espouse hateful and toxic anti-homosexual positions -- like those of Mr. George W. Bush.
The ironic thing is, if George W. Bush were gay, that would be the only inoffensive thing about him.